How to gel with a new group of people


1. How to gel with a group of strangers. Recently somebody asked me what is your strong point and I was speechless not in the good old positive way but in a way which made me question myself. "Do I have any?"- I asked myself.
2. Then, I had an epiphany. I flipped through my customized memory, filled with positive feedback, and the point which stood out was "you are a pretty easy guy to talk with". So I answered, "my strong point would be, my communication skills."
3. Here, I'm gonna point out some techniques which I have refined over the years, sum it up in short, and serve it on a platter, because we all want easy, right!?
4. When you interact with a group of unknown people usually you have someone who would introduce you to that group. That person is the mutual friend of the group. The bridge between you and them. Use that person.
5. No matter how many times you have read this but people tend to accept you more if you greet them with a warm, gentle, not too wide, smile. That is the shining star in your armour. Use that. Sprinkle it here and there.
6. The size of the group is a pretty crucial aspect. If the group has more people than you can handle then just glance through everyone. Not in a rush, maintaining that smile right through till the last person. Make sure you don't mock an owl.
7. Find your comfort spot. Respond to people who actually seem interested to meet you. They are already there, a beforehand part of that group, they will make sure that you don't feel out of space. Don't lose hope if no one responds.
8. Initially, like any sane person, you shouldn't jump right into their conversation. You just have to monitor them, still maintaining the diminished version of that smile, and pick out those people who make sense or whose humour matches with your taste.
9. Now that you have settled down, you have that person, the bridge. We are going to make an attempt to gel in, at his/her expense. Make a light joke, pull our bridge's leg but ever so slightly, you never know how a person might react in a group.
10. See people's reaction. Did they enjoy? or did they turn their smiling faces in another direction? Did you get a red card? If you did, then it's okay, there's one thing which never fails, sense of humour.
11. When we talk about the sense of humour, it doesn't mean making jokes or being funny at other's expense. It's about how you take a joke. Can you take a joke and laugh it off?
12. The group is fairly new and these people don't know you, so they will refrain themselves from commenting something about your looks, or your attire or your dreadlocks. When nobody makes an attempt, you have to chip in and tell them how pathetic of a human being you are!
13. Try to be abstract, don't go in detail. You want them to like you. Don't overcompensate any previously failed attempt. Be as subtle as you can. Over-enthusiasm is a big NO. Don't fake a person which you are not. People will remember it, even after months of meeting you.
14. Ultimately you will understand whether this can be your type of group or not. If not, then move on. There're plenty of other people with whom you can interact. At the same time remember to be the person others would like to talk with.
Be interesting to get interesting.

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